I asked that the Helper of Sadness begin helping me release the unexpressed sadness stored in my body. The Sage guided me to throw a hexagram. I received # 52. Meditating, Lines 2, 3, 4, 5.
The text and lines guided me to meditate on hidden elements of my sadness. The Sage made it clear that the Helper of Sadness was blocked for me, and that I would be meditating to discover the source of the block. I was guided to hand over worries, anxieties and doubts to the Helper of Transformation, and to ask the Cleansing Healers to assist in removing the obstruction from the psyche. It further indicated that I was to look for the Helper of Sadness in my heart, and that I needed to do a heart examination.
I began the meditation; after loading my concerns onto the Helper of Transformation’s wagon I looked into my heart. I began by smiling at my heart with love and appreciation. As the heart began to appear I saw cleaners with mops and brooms all over it, inside and out; then I zoomed in on something inside, behind bars in a jail-like cell. It was the Helper of Sadness totally unable to help. I asked what this was about and I began to see that it was caged in by anger. I could hear that I was not to be angry or express my anger.
I deprogrammed the phrases: YOU MAY NOT BE ANGRY. GIRLS DO NOT GET ANGRY.
I could see that what is blocking the Helper of Sadness is that I have confused it with the Helper of Anger. I do know that when I’m angry I cry and do not clearly express my anger. Once I saw that there was a shift. I began to see situations in which my mother was angry with me, then my father, then my husband. All of these were lodged in my heart. I had taken in their anger toward me and put it into my heart. I watched these play out on a screen then turn into doves that were released through my heart out into the sky. They were not my anger in the first place, and I had held onto it, unknowingly, not knowing what to do with it.
I asked the cleansing Helpers to continue to clean these obstructions out of my heart and the Helper of Transformation to remove the obstacles at the level of consciousness. I am to repeat this.